


His Looks Could Kill

by BirdyBanter



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Blood and Violence, Case Fic, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:22:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22512439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BirdyBanter/pseuds/BirdyBanter
Summary: Starsky is a good cop in need of a partner. Hutch is the suspect he can't quite make his mind up about. Can they stop fighting each other long enough to fight for justice?
Relationships: Ken Hutchinson/David Starsky
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	His Looks Could Kill

**Author's Note:**

> There is violence and some offensive language in this fic so be warned. But I hope you enjoy reading and any constructive comments are welcome.

Oh yeah, he was good looking alright, and he knew it the cocky bastard. Anyone would say the same. When Starsky had brought in the suspect the officer at the booking in desk hadn’t failed to notice, she stared so long Starsky had to cough to get her attention back to the matter at hand. As he led the suspect to the interrogation room through the hall most of the people, they passed gave the man an appreciating glance. He was looked up and down and almost devoured easily half a dozen times. Starsky could swear a couple of hard-bitten cops even took more than a casual glance in their direction. Guys could appreciate the attractiveness of other guys, even if it was just in a lucky bugger sort of way. Like I bet he gets all the women. And Starsky had no doubt he got all the women he could possibly ever want and just about anyone he cared to proposition. Not that he’d have to, he was inundated with offers, like all beautiful people are. If Starsky was feeling generous he’d say well if I was him, I’d find it hard to believe myself undesirable what with the attention he gets. But Starsky wasn’t feeling generous in fact he was barely holding in his rage, this arrogant asshole was most likely the man he was looking for in connection with the murders of beautiful, vulnerable young women.

Starsky was pacing up and down the interrogation room where his suspect Mr. Hutchinson sat in a cheap wooden chair looking far too comfortable and nonchalant for a man being questioned about a murder. 

‘I’ll ask you again; where were ya at 12.30 last night?’

‘I’m not the man you’re looking for detective, I keep telling you.’

‘Then ya won’t mind answering. Where were you?’

‘Actually, I would, one because I’m innocent and two because it’s none of your business and as you’ve yet to show any evidence that links me to these crimes, I think it’s time I was leaving.’ Hutchinson said sounding smug to Starsky.

‘Three of the five women who’ve been killed were murdered not long after leaving your club.’

‘Unfortunate coincidence. It’s a popular place to drink, have a little fun, perhaps you should come by some time might help unwind all that pent-up energy you’ve got going on.’

‘Solving these murders would do that just fine.’ Starsky hissed at him.

‘If you say so.’

‘Listen this might be all one big joke to you. But I don’t happen to think people losing their lives, in such a brutal way is funny. They all had people they loved, who cared for them, they’re human beings for cripes sake.’

‘You really are a bleeding heart, aren’t you? Well I wish I could help you. I know you won’t believe this, but I really do.’ Hutchinson’s voice was rough with a barely contained anger of his own. 

Starsky couldn’t tell if he meant it or if he was simply mocking him with fake sincerity.

‘Now unless you have any more, dare I say intelligent questions to ask I’ll see you around.’ 

The suspect got up to leave. Starsky rushed round the desk to grab him by the arm roughly.

‘You can leave when I’m finished with ya, not before.’

‘Kindly remove your hand detective, or do I need to make a complaint to your superior. A Captain Dobey, isn’t it?’

‘Try it. See where it gets ya.’

‘This Is the third time you’re brought me in here Detective Starsky and you’ve still got nothing. Desperation is an unattractive quality.’

‘So is being a creep Mr. Hutchinson.’

‘Such a little charmer, aren’t you?’ Hutchinson said tapping Starsky’s face.

‘Your charms won’t wash with me.’

‘I’m pretty sure they will, judging by that.’ Hutchinson’s eyes flicked to Starsky’s crotch and Starsky’s eyes followed their trajectory and oh if he wasn’t an observant bastard. 

Starsky grabbed his arm harder and then slammed him up against the wall.

‘There’s no way I’d ever be interested in a sleazy, violent, creep like you, get it.’

‘Whatever you say. But no one’s ever called me sleazy and I’m sure as hell not violent not unless provoked or defending myself. But you’re pushing my buttons buddy. You wanna meet somewhere away from here and we can go toe to toe anytime you like.’ Hutchinson snarled the last few words. 

‘Regular tough guy, aren’t you?’ Starsky said pushing Hutchinson further into the wall,’ 

‘Well if you really want to defend yourself tell me where you were last night.’

Hutchinson sighed heavily, ‘I can’t, don’t you get that? We’re both men of the world. There are some things you can’t fess up to.’

‘You’re going to have to give me more than that.’

‘I wasn’t…alone, but.’

‘Yeah.’

‘When there’s someone else involved, someone married. Well I might as well not have an alibi, you know.’ The look Hutchinson was giving him told Starsky said far more than words could.

‘The husband can’t be that much of a threat.’

‘Neither of our lives would be worth living, alright?’ Hutchinson’s face went pale and stern.

‘You’re a big guy, surely you can handle yourself. It’s better than being thought of as a murderer, right?’

‘Don’t be so sure.’

‘Listen you have to help me out here.’

‘I can’t, okay.’ Hutchinson pushed Starsky off of him.

‘Why did you get involved if it was this dangerous?’

‘Even so-called sleazes catch the feelings sometimes.’

‘You love her?’

‘I care.’

Starsky reluctantly let Hutchinson go. He still wasn’t convinced but the man was right about one thing he had pig all evidence. But then another murder happened and something at the scene put Hutchinson right back in the frame. He was arrested and charged this time but something didn’t add up. So Starsky went to see the one person who knew almost everything going down on the street and as a fellow businessman he thought this informant would have the lowdown on Hutchinson. He entered The Pits and received his usual welcome.

‘Hey there, my man how’s it hanging?’ Huggy said giving him a look of curiosity from behind the bar.

‘Just peachy Huggy, and you?’

‘Can’t complain.’

‘I need some info it’s important.’

‘When docha and when ain’t it?’

‘What do you know about Ken Hutchinson?’

‘Hutch? Why do you want to know? What’s that cat got himself into now?’

‘I arrested him as the lady Killer.’

‘What?’

‘You heard.’

‘You’ve got the wrong man, not his way at all.’

‘How can you be so sure?’ Starsky was genuinely intrigued.

‘He’s an old friend.’

‘Well your friend’s in big trouble.’

‘What you got on him?’ 

Starsky looked like,’ I can’t tell you that’, and Huggy countered with his own look of, ‘how can we get anywhere if you don’t.’

‘Something of his was found at the scene and he won’t give an alibi, won’t talk at all. He’s going to go down for it. I’d feel better if I thought he’d done it, but I’m starting to have my doubts.’

‘He didn’t.’

‘Faith’s great but it’s not evidence, I need more.’

Huggy dropped his head and so Starsky turned and walked towards the door.

‘This…this can’t get out.’

Starsky turned and walked back to the bar.

‘You wanna help him or not.’

‘What time do you need?’

‘Between 12 and 2 am.’

‘Then shit, yeah okay he was with me.’

‘The whole time?’ 

‘Yeah the whole time.’ Huggy confirmed suddenly unable to meet Starsky’s eyes.

‘That’s some lock in.’

‘More like a private party.’

Starsky got with the programme. ‘And you didn’t say fall asleep or nothin’?’

‘Listen my man when someone as pretty and shall we say talented as Hutch is giving you his time, takin’ you ta paradise and back, you ain’t wastin’a minute on sleep. Ya dig me?’ Huggy’s voice sounded almost dreamy, almost.

Starsky raised his eyebrows. ‘So, you’re that kind of an old friend, Huh?’

‘You judging?’

‘Nope, I’m actually impressed, like you say he’s awfully pretty.’ Starsky winked at him.

Back at the station Starsky dived right into more questioning. Hutchinson was sitting again and this time so was Starsky. He wanted to be at eye level so he would miss nothing written on the guy’s face. Starsky had also put a coffee down in front of Hutchinson but he hadn’t taken so much as a sip and it was probably already cold.   
‘Gonna explain it to me?’

‘What?’

‘Why you’d rather be pegged for a murderer than a fa-homosexual?’

‘What were you just going to call me detective?’

‘N-nothing, I was j-‘ Starsky hated the shake in his voice and was almost glad to be interrupted. 

‘Yeah sure you were. Well perhaps you just answered your own question there.’

‘You that desperate to protect your reputation? Care that much about what people think do ya?’

‘Hardly, I do what I like, don’t give a damn what anyone thinks, specially the likes of you.’ Hutchinson’s tone was defiant. 

‘Really, I’m not sure I buy that. Why wouldn’t you give yourself an alibi, if that’s the case?’

Hutchinson slouched down in his seat crossing his legs, giving the impression of being totally relaxed. Starsky wasn’t buying that at all.

‘How’d you know about it anyhow?’

‘Your friend came through for you.’ At that Starsky saw the mask slip, and fear alight in the too blue eyes. 

‘He…he…what did you do to him?’ Fear and anger fought to take over Hutchinson’s vocal cords. 

‘Oh, so that’s it. Never had you down as the loyal sort, but you were protecting him, weren’t you?’

Hutchinson jumped to his feet. ‘I said what did you do to him!’ He shouted and towered over the table and a still seated Starsky.

‘I think you oughta sit down before someone rushes in here and helps me restrain you. It won’t be pretty.’

‘Never is…’ Hutch mumbled sitting down and folding in on himself. In a move Starsky knew all too well as one of self-protection. He’d witnessed and broken up enough beatings to recognize it.

‘You know not every cop’s like that.’

‘Sure.’ The cruel but jaded smirk that accompanied Hutchinson’s words made Starsky angry.

‘I’m not like that.’

‘Whatever you say.’

‘Hey, you little bastard, you don’t know nothin’ about me.’ Starsky’s fury was getting the better of him. 

‘Yeah and you know nothin’about me, ain’t stopped you putting me down as a self-hating queer.’

‘Ain’t you?

‘No, ain’t even queer.’

‘Nah, course not all straight guys like banging guys.’

‘Did I say I was straight? I swing both ways if you must know and I ain’t ashamed of it. Shouldn’t knock it ‘til you try it.’ Hutchinson said with a touch of a leer. 

‘Good to know.’

‘I’ll bet it is.’ Under the table Hutchinson ran his foot up the inside of Starsky’s leg.

‘Cut that out.’

‘I don’t think you really want me to sugar.’ The smirk was back on Hutchinson’s face. 

‘The hell I don’t. And I can tell this is all a front. You don’t really like people knowing your business that’s why you haven’t told us anything that would help you out of this mess.’

‘You’re the cop, maybe I expect you to be a little less lazy and figure out for yourself who really did this. If you and your mates aren’t too busy queer bashing to fit in actual police work that is.’

‘You really hate us, don’t you?’

‘Right back at you.’

‘I already said I’m not…’

‘Tell it to your face. I can tell you abhor me with every fibre of your being. Judging me from here to Sunday and back.’ Hutchinson’s eye’s were hard as steel as he spoke. 

‘Don’t you think that could be because you’ve wasted time I could have spent finding the real killer. Don’t you care about the women who’ve been killed? You selfish bastard!’

‘I care but I don’t recall you or your colleges spending this much time and energy a couple of years back when that killer was picking of drag queens and anyone who seemed like they could be the least bit gay.’

Starsky didn’t have a response to that. Casting his mind back he had to admit they had dropped the ball and he had heard some choice words from some of his fellow officers about the fairies deserving it. He felt there should have been more men on it but it hadn’t happened. He did try but perhaps not hard enough.

‘Nothing to say detective about twenty dead gay men or do they not count as much as lovely young ladies.’ Hutchinson’s tone was challenging.   
‘I…I understand why that would upset ya, and you’d take it personal but-‘

‘But what?’ Hutch lept to his feet again and this time Starsky wouldn’t blame him if he threw a punch but instead he was left confused as Hutch spun around to show Starsky his back.

‘Personal you say, don’t get much more personal.’ 

Starsky heard a rustle of clothes and then Hutch’s hand came around to his own collar pulling down he revealed a scar that seemed to start at the bottom of his neck and then disappear into the shirt that covered the rest of it. Before he could more than glance at the scar Hutch spun back around. 

‘So how personal does it need to be for me to be upset about it?’

‘He…he…tried to…’

‘Kill me? Yeah.’

‘But you…you were one of his…’

‘Victims? Yeah that’s right, I was. And I came in here every day after he…everyday, day after day, week after week but not one of you bastards listened to me or took me seriously. You shrugged it off, half arsing it at best. I gave an exact description. Gave all the detail I could. If anyone had followed it up those…those other guys would have made it. But no, no one gives a stuff about, what were you gonna call me before detective, a fag right? So, don’t tell me about justice and caring about victims. You don’t even remember me, do you? None of you would. Don’t pretend you care alright, you don’t…you don’t…’ He broke off as tears threatened to fall. Hutchinson sat down heavily then. 

Starsky felt shame fall on him as surely as those unshed tears could. He felt so awful that he stopped thinking and maybe he could blame it on the guilt but he got up and rushed around the table and fell to his knees to the side of Hutchinson and without thinking he wiped at the tears, that had now decided to fall and then he cupped the sad but beautiful face and said, ‘I’m sorry we let you down, if I let you down…I truly am…’ He didn’t know what else to say or do, an apology wasn’t enough. The guy was in prison for life but that was no consolation he killed twenty guys. And then it hit Starsky nearly twenty-one. This beautiful soul came close to perishing like the others. There was nothing anyone could say, to have something so awful happen to you and then have to sit back and watch so many even more awful things happen, done by the person who hurt you and be powerless to stop it and perhaps worse feeling no one cared enough to do anything about it. He couldn’t imagine how terrible that would be. He was suddenly ashamed of his badge. 

Starsky abruptly came to himself and realized that this probably wasn’t professional or appropriate and swiftly got up clearing his throat. 

‘I…I’m sorry about that, about everything.’ When he looked down again at Hutchinson he realized the man had barely registered it, presumably still utterly lost in his own sad memories. 

Starsky went back to his side of the table and sat.

‘How…how did you survive, if you don’t mind my asking?’

‘I…I’d rather not talk about it…let’s just say he got more than he bargained for.’

‘You said I didn’t…did we? I don’t remember meeting you, I’m sorry.’

‘It was brief. We talked for no more than ten minutes. You took down some information but then someone came over and you were called away. Someone else took over but didn’t care. I could tell. I thought you did but…’

‘I didn’t come back.’

Hutchinson nodded.

‘Hey, I was called onto another case. You don’t always get to choose, and all crimes are important to someone.’ 

‘Are you saying it was more important than my dead friends? I don’t recall any other serial killers at the time. Not that ours made the papers, more than once. And only because that boy wasn’t gay.’ The resentment was clear as Hutchinson spoke. 

Starsky noted the anger in the man’s eyes. ‘Just another abuse victim killed by her bastard excuse for a husband. Mightn’t have been a serial killer but still worth locking up for a good few years I’d say, wouldn’t you?’

‘I’m not going to argue with that. But I will with your righteous indignation. He was killing my friends for 18 months. You on that case the whole time, were you? Or just not as easy to see the value in lives like mine, when there are pure young women to save. Or cats to save from trees or parking fines to give out.’ Hutchinson sneered. 

‘Every life is important damn it.’

‘No some are definitely more important than others. You’ve spent a lot of time on me, thinking I’m the villain, killing these women. Not so much when I was the victim. If you had maybe my friends wouldn’t be dead.’ With that Hutch all but threw the table at Starsky. If it wasn’t for his quick reactions, Starsky would have been eating wood.

‘What the hell is going on in here?’ Dobey bellowed as he shot through the door. 

‘My fault Cap, I got the suspect worked up.’

‘Do I need to get back up in here?’ Dobey barked. 

‘No…no in fact I think we should get Mr. Hutchinson out of here, let him go.’

‘What?’ Dobey sounded and looked almost as shocked as Hutchinson did. 

‘He didn’t do it Cap, I’d stake my badge on it.’ Starsky’s tone brooked no argument. 

‘That’s great Starsky but I need proof not promises.’

‘He has an alibi for last night.’

‘Is it tight?’ Dobey questioned.

‘Yes, a reliable informant is willing to give a statement to say he was with him at the time.’

‘What about the scarf?’ Dobey asked and then they both looked at Hutchinson.

He sighed. ‘I lent a scarf to a friend. You’d have to show me the one you have so I can be sure but that’s the only thing I can think of.’

‘You haven’t shown him the scarf yet, Starsky. Where’s your head at?’

Where indeed Starsky thought. He seemed to lose it around this guy. 

‘And you, you’ll have to tell us who this friend is.’ Dobey said turning his focus onto Hutchinson. 

‘Alright.’ Hutchinson acquiesced. 

‘Starsky get this done, we need to focus on catching the real killer. No more time to waste on this.’ Dobey moved his arm in Hutchinson’s direction.

‘Don’t worry this knows better than to try wasting your time.’ Hutch said with a hard laugh. 

Starsky got the information he needed from Hutchinson and then let him go. He had no time to dwell on their conversation or the strange feelings it had stirred up after all Dobey was right they had a killer to find. He couldn’t afford to get distracted.

The going was slow, they questioned Hutchinson’s friend who admitted he had the scarf briefly. But lost it. he also had a solid alibi for most of the murders including the one the scarf was present at. Starsky chased up a few more leads but quickly came to the conclusion there was only one person who could help him solve the case and save the potential victims so he would have to bite down his pride and get on with it.

Starsky walked into the glitzy nightclub feeling a little out of place and not just because it was daytime, and he was in his work clothes. It was too swanky for his tastes. He’s asked at the bar and had been directed to the office at the back. He knocked on the office door but then went in without waiting for an answer. 

‘What the hell are you doin’ here detective? Come to arrest me again.’

‘No, no I’m not. But I do need your help.’

‘Oh do you now.’

‘Yes, in fact I think you’re the only one who can help and I haven’t got time to play games. I know you have even more reason than most to see killers behind bars so you gonna help me or what?’ Starsky hoped he had just enough cop authority in his voice but had to admit it probably wouldn’t work with this guy anyway. 

‘I can’t very well say no when you put it like that. But I tell you one thing, that’s the last time you use my past to manipulate me. I’m not the one who let those men down. I did everything I could for them, and I’ll do the same for these women. Not for you or because you ‘talked’ me into it. I have already been trying to do just that.’

‘How?’

‘If you must know I paid some extra bodyguards to walk girls on their own home and done the same myself. Just ‘cause I don’t trust your lot don’t mean I like what’s been happening and I want to stop it as much as anyone.’ Hutchinson’s tone dared Starsky to refute his intentions. 

‘So, you’ll give me whatever I need.’

‘Whatever help I can give.’ 

‘Have you or any of your regulars noticed anyone hanging about, or following women when they leave?’

‘No and I have asked around a bit, my bouncers and bar staff haven’t noticed anyone particular but then unless someone was being obvious, with customers and rowdy drunks to contend with why would they?’

‘And no complaints about anyone from the women who come here.’

‘Not that I know of and like I said I’ve-‘

‘Yeah, yeah you’ve asked around.’

‘Shirty much?’

Starsky sighed and rubbed his forehead. ‘Yeah well it’s frustrating. Wouldn’t you be pissed I’m getting’ nowhere an in the meantime girls are-‘

‘Yeah, can’t be easy. But shouldn’t you have more men on it.’ Hutchinson sounded doubtful. 

‘Everyone’s on it, pulling double shifts, barely stop to eat, piss and sleep.’ Starsky replied testily. 

‘Just wondered why you’re here alone, is all. Don’t you have a partner or something?’

‘Not at the moment.’

‘Did you choose to come here?’ Hutchinson’s look of disbelief was clear, they hadn’t got off to the best start so Starsky couldn’t blame him.

‘Yeah, I don’t let anything get in the way of doin’ my job to the best.’

Hutchinson just nodded at that but kept quiet.

‘I am sorry about those men.’

Hutchinson nodded again but as Starsky was about to defend himself further Hutchinson nodded again and this time smiled just a little like maybe, just maybe he did believe him.

‘Is there really no information, anything helpful you can tell me?’

‘Afraid not.’ Hutchinson sounded genuinely saddened. 

‘What about you?’

Hutchinson’s face hardened at the implication. ‘I thought we’d established that I didn’t do anything to these women or are you doubting me again?’ 

‘No, no I didn’t mean…I…I was only thinking that your scarf was found at the scene.’

‘So?’ Hutchinson still looked angry.

‘Your friend said he lost it and he does have an alibi. Do you believe him?’

‘Yes, Mikey’s a good guy. Bit of a lady’s man but most are. What are you getting at Detective?’

‘Well if it wasn’t you who left it there,’Starsky put up a hand as he said that. And it wasn’t Mikey who did then who do ya think did?’

‘How would I know?’

‘Other than coincidence, an I’m not big on believin’ in those, It could be someone left it there on purpose, maybe to frame you.’ Starsky raised questioning eyebrows.   
‘Frame me? Why would someone wanna do that?’

‘That’s what I’m hopin’ you’ll tell me.’

Hutchinson went quiet then and sat on the nearest bar stool.

‘Listen, I know it ain’t fun ta think about but could someone ya know have a grudge against you?’

Hutchinson let out something between a huff and a sneering laugh. ‘Other than those who don’t care for the fact that I bat for both teams you mean?’

‘Or including those, think you could make a list.’

Hutchinson did laugh then. ‘Sure, how much ink do you have?’

‘That bad huh?’

‘Yep.’

Starsky was hit by a pang of something at the sadness in Hutchinson’s face as he said that one simple word. How many people had hurt this guy? Was the abuse mostly verbal or was there a lot of physical stuff? He knew of one incident but how many more. Abuse was abuse though and words, certain words could hurt worse than anything else.

Starsky was sitting at his desk surrounded by piles of paperwork and open files going over all the evidence he’d managed to get together and all the info he had and it all amounted to a hill of beans. His half-eaten, discarded lunch spoke volumes about his dejected frame of mind. Then the phone rang.

‘Detective Starsky?’

‘Yes, is that Mr Hutchinson?’

‘Yeah, listen about the list.’

‘Go ‘head.’

‘I think I left someone off it and I’m not sure about this but maybe…’

‘Tell me.’ Starsky said perking up at the sound of a new lead. 

‘I will, just can you come here?’

‘Okay, you at the club?’

‘No, I’m home.’

‘You sure you wanna meet there?’ Starsky asked not believing what he was hearing. 

‘Just come okay.’

‘Alright What’s the address?’

Starsky liked the little place by the water that was evidently Hutch’s home. The place was lovely, quaint Starsky thought. In contrast to the buzzing club the man owned. Starsky wondered if this place said more about Hutchinson than his business ever could. He was an intriguing man for sure. He knocked at the door feeling nervous and not knowing the reason why.

‘Hey, come in.’ Hutchinson said looking as nervous as Starsky felt.

‘Drink?’ Hutchinson offered pointing to the drink’s cabinet.

‘Ah, no thanks. What info have ya got for me then?’ Starsky said trying to sound formal. 

‘Straight to business ha, almost like you don’t enjoy my company detective?’ Hutchinson winked as he said the last word.

Starsky felt awkward and self-consciously cleared his throat.

‘I was thinking about grudges and came up with something, I really hope I’m wrong but-

‘Just hit me with it yeah.’

‘Okay his name’s Raymond Styles.’ Hutchinson went quiet after saying the name and had a faraway look in his eyes. 

‘Who is he?’

‘He’s um…he’s my, my ex.’

‘Your ex?’ Starsky couldn’t keep the surprise from his voice, this guy had no luck at all with the men he had contact with. Why didn’t he just stick with women? All men seemed to do was want to hurt him, even Starsky had, in a way. Surely, he’d be safer with the fairer sex. 

‘Yeah, we broke up a couple of months back.’

‘That’s around the time the women started-‘

‘Yeah, I know.’ Hutchinson sounded despondent.

‘But why him? What does he have against you? You dump him or something?’

Hutchinson looked away then clearly uncomfortable, he turned and went to sit down.

‘I…I know you said you didn’t want a drink but you think you could get me one?’

‘Sure.’ Starsky went to the cabinet. ‘Scotch or brandy?’

‘Whisky, I think I need something strong.’

‘You got it.’ Starsky poured the drink and then walked to the sofa, he sat next to Hutch and handed him the drink. He sipped it and then he sipped again.

‘Hey, I know this is difficult Mr. Hutchinson but-‘

‘Hutch?’

‘Huh?’

‘Can you call me Hutch, it’s what my f- uh the people who know me call me and this isn’t gonna be easy.’

‘Okay sure. So, start from the beginning Hutch.’

‘Detective?’

‘Yeah?’

‘I can’t keep calling you Detective.’

‘Starsky.’ He said offering a hand.

Hutch shook it and continued. ‘Well Starsky, I’m not sure where to start except, he didn’t take the breakup very well.’

‘How’d ya mean?’

Hutch gave him a look.

‘What he hurt you?’ Starsky said with less detachment than a professional should. 

‘Yeah but he got a black eye for his trouble, I can handle myself.’

‘So, he’s violent, angry but any other reason you think he’s capable?’

‘He made some threats, trashed my bar and…’ Hutch’s voice wavered like it would cost him to go on. 

‘What?’

‘He hates women.’

‘Oh.’

‘Yeah, he’s like me…bi I mean but he just can’t stand women. He’s adopted and went lookin’ for his mother. She didn’t want to know, so…’

‘He blames all women?’

Hutch shrugged. 

‘So, you think it’s what like killing two birds with one stone? He kills women because he hates them and tries to frame you because he’s furious with you for rejecting him?’ Strasky didn’t sound totally convinced. 

‘Like I said, I’m not sure. I don’t want it to be him.’

‘Why?’

‘If it is then…it’s my fault isn’t it?’ He looked utterly crestfallen. Starsky couldn’t remember the last time someone seemed this miserable and he’d put people away for decades.   
‘No, it ain’t, no one’s fault but his. You ask me you’re a victim in this too.’

‘I’m no one’s victim Detective.’ Hutch jumped off the sofa and went over to the drink’s cabinet.

He fucked up again and was back to ‘Detective.’ ‘I don’t mean it like that, okay. But you haven’t done anything wrong is all I’m sayin’.’

‘You’ve changed your tune.’

What could he say to that? ‘I sure have and if you’re havin’ another I’ll have one too but only one, we need to keep clear heads if we’re gonna talk this through.’ 

It would have all gone smoothly if he hadn’t messed it up. But then he had been making mistakes since the start of the case, his instincts were all to cock and he wasn’t sure why. He stopped by Raymond’s dive and went in all guns blazing, kicking down the door when he got no answer. Raymond was at the sink, destroying evidence when Starsky burst through the door so in an effort to stop him Starsky launched across the room straight at him and that was a stupid move because Raymond simply picked up the nearest object to had, which happened to be a frying pan and clobbered Starsky over the head with it, by the time he came around Raymond had bolted.   
Starsky was dazed and confused thoughts jumbled together, as soon as he regained his balance, he rushed out of Raymond’s apartment building but the guy was long gone. He knew Raymond had a car and he had to catch up to him because he had a horrible feeling he knew where he was headed, and he couldn’t bear what would happen if he was too far behind.

He was right, maybe for the first time in this case, but that was no consolation to him. He had gone straight to the club and ran around the bar and into the office in the back. He busted down the door and was met by a terrifying scene because Raymond had a knife to Hutch’s throat. 

‘Come any closer and he goes the way of those girls.’ Raymond’s eyes were wild with hatred and conviction.

‘Take it easy, back up a bit. We’re all gonna stay really calm.’ Starsky was doing his best to keep his voice even, more for Hutch’s sake than to calm Raymond one look at him had told Starsky that nothing he could say would tame him. He wanted to kill Hutch it was the last part of the plan he’d cooked up and he wasn’t shy of going down doing it either. He only wanted to make sure Hutch suffered. He was intent and all Starsky could do was hope that he would act quicker if the moment presented itself. 

‘Why don’t you tell me why, you did all this huh? You must want someone to know your reasons. Why you think they deserved it.’ Starsky wanted to stall somehow but the guy didn’t seem like a talker. 

‘That’s how your gonna play it is it? Pretendin’ won’t get you nowhere. They were bitches, that’s why and as for him,’ he put the knife tighter to Hutch’s throat,’ he always thought he could do better than me. So beautiful.’ He stroked Hutches face with his other hand,’ Well beauty doesn’t matter much not when you’re…’

Hutch’s eyes went wide and then Raymond reached across further with the hand holding the knife, being dramatic about what he was about to do and that was the opening Starsky needed. He aimed and fired. Raymond went down as he was hit in the right side of his chest. Unfortunately, as he went the knife caught Hutch and his throat started bleeding. Starsky was panicked in a way a hardened cop shouldn’t be as he rushed to Hutch while Hutch brought his hands up to stop the bleeding. Starsky grabbed him and put him gently on the floor, worried about shock. He then carefully removed Hutch’s hands from his throat to check the damage, there was a lot of blood but not enough that it was life threatening and as far as he could tell nothing vital had been nicked but there were no guarantees. He put his hands over the wound and that’s when one of the bar staff rushed in, presumably having heard the gun shot.

‘Oh, shit, oh shit.’ Was all he said so Starsky balled at him to get over there and take over putting pressure on Hutch’s throat. When the guy had safely taken over Starsky checked on Raymond. A pulse check confirmed he was dead as suspected. Starsky then picked up the phone and called for help, before returning to Hutch and taking over from the stunned bartender. 

‘You’ll be alright.’ He said to Hutch and hoped that he was right.

The help didn’t come quickly enough for Starsky’s liking and the wait at the hospital was even worse all he could do was pace and hope. It felt like he’d been there forever when Captain Dobey arrived. 

‘You should go home son, I can take care of the witness statement.’

Dobey was trying to be kind but he couldn’t help wince at Hutch being called a witness. He couldn’t put into words why that felt so wrong, so cold. That was all Hutch was wasn’t it? A witness and another wince, a former suspect. He’d been wrong about so many things and perhaps that’s why he wanted to make it up to Hutch so much or perhaps it was more than that.

‘Starsky?’ Captain Dobey’s eyes were big with concern because of his silence.

‘No Captain, I want to stay.’

‘Are you sure? You could do with cleanin’ up a bit and you’re probably a bit shakin’ up.’

He looked down at himself then, the blood on his hands and shirt, Hutch’s blood, he felt dizzy and stumbled.

‘That’s it, home now, no arguments.’

‘No, I’ll clean up here. I have to stay Capt’n least I can do after how I let him down, got this whole thing wrong from the start.’

‘Starsky, you did your job, questioned a guy who seemed like a viable suspect. You couldn’t have known-‘

‘I should have, and I shouldn’t ‘av let Styles get away from me. I made stupid mistakes at least let me see this through. After what he’s been through, he needs…’

‘He needs a friend, family, it’s not your place to-‘

The Captain cut himself off with one look from Starsky.

‘Alright, well I’ve got a shirt in my car, it’ll be a bit big but-‘

‘That’s fine Cap.’

‘Oh, and Starsky, this might not be the time but this is why you need a new partner. I know it’s been tough without…but you need back up. Proper back up, can’t go takin’ the world on your shoulders all by yourself.’

Starsky nodded like he’d think about it. 

‘Okay, I guess I’ll go get that shirt.’

Starsky had cleaned up and was waiting in the waiting room. He hated the feeling that he couldn’t do anything but pace up and down and back again, wearing out the soles of his sneakers in the process. Then the vending machine became the focus of his anger and frustration. The chocolate bar he needed for the sugar to keep him going was stuck half-way in, halfway out of its slot taunting him like so many criminals from his past. He kicked the machine hard and then started shaking it violently. He was snapped out of it finally by a guy shouting, ’Hey man come on, cut it out.’ Starsky whirled round towards the voice. Stalking towards the man who just held up his hands placatingly and then gestured to the few other people in the waiting room, including a young child and said,’ For the sake of the rest of us yeah?’ Starsky backed off and as he did one of the other people in the room tutted at him. Starsky didn’t like confrontation with people all that much, not outside of the bad guys anyway. Being a good guy himself, even if he had to remind himself of that more and more recently. But so help him even if she was an old lady if she tutted at him one more time he would go off like a rocket. 

It wasn’t like the last time he told himself. It wasn’t anything like it. but it was the same hospital and the same waiting room. With the stupid plastic chairs no one wanted to sit on and of course the evil vending machine. Reminding you of how shit life was. Depriving you of the one thing you needed when you most needed it. But even if this guy, this Hutch didn’t make it, it wasn’t like the last time, couldn’t be. The last time it was his partner. The man who had his back for years, the person he knew inside and out. The closest person to him, including his much-loved Mother. So it wouldn’t be like that but somehow it didn’t feel as far from those feeling as it should. Perhaps it was because this man was his responsibility as a witness and also that Starsky had got him so wrong. Thought he was the bad guy when in fact he was the next victim in waiting. He couldn’t have got it much more wrong, could he? On top of that he let the real guilty party get away from him, let Hutch get hurt and if he didn’t pull through how could he live with that again?

Starsky still regularly relived the night he lost his partner. It had only been a few months after all, still fresh, still raw. It was just another average day and an average guy too. Someone who decided after being made redundant to knock over a convenience store, to help feed the wife and kids. With the help of an ancient gun that he said later in his statement he wasn’t sure was loaded and didn’t think would work anyway. It was just to frighten people apparently. But instead it put a hole in Starsky’s partner. And Starsky had waited in the very same waiting room for news he knew wouldn’t be good. And here he was again with his hands stained with another man’s blood, even after all the washing. He was flooded with the same feeling of helplessness. He hadn’t prevented it. The only difference was that the perpetrator wasn’t incompetent and desperate, it was someone proficient in being evil. And very effective. He had done this many times before, so was at least fairly predictable so Starsky had warning and should have been able to stop him. He hated his partner’s killer of course but it wasn’t so easy when the guy was just some helpless schmuck. It was far easier to blame himself for not reacting quickly enough, not saying the right thing to calm the guy down but it had happened so quickly. And with some distance from that day now he could at least tell himself that there was nothing he could have done. No this would be nothing like losing Merve, his partner and best friend. But in a way, in some way it would be worse. He could totally blame and hate himself; he was a useless excuse for a cop. Merve would have saved Hutch. He was older, more experienced. Starsky had learned a lot from him. But he was no Merve, not yet. He couldn’t do this again so soon after his friend. He couldn’t take it, not this time. He knew that and it was the only thing he was sure of. Starsky’s thoughts and pacing were interrupted by the approach of a nurse with an unreadable expression on her face. 

‘How’s he doing?’ Starsky asked nervously. 

‘As well as can be expected, he’s still pretty shaken up.’ The Nurse said.

‘He would be…’ Starsky drifted off thinking then about the fact that this wasn’t the first time someone had tried to kill Hutch and the trauma of this was bound to bring back bad memories. 

‘Yes, of course. So, go easy with him.’

‘I will, and what about physically?’ Starsky’s voice was shaky. 

‘He will heal, thankfully it wasn’t as bad as it looked.’ Starsky was glad about that and hopeful that he would indeed heal and not just where it showed.

‘Can I go to him, now?’

The Nurse nodded and gestured for Starsky to follow her. 

Starsky hesitated for a minute before opening the curtain to Hutch’s cubicle and going in. 

‘How are you doing?’ Starsky said as softly as he could, he didn’t want to startle Hutch who wasn’t looking his way.

‘Okay, I guess.’ He replied without looking up.

‘Nurse thinks you were lucky.’

‘Yeah I feel it.’ Hutch said sounding so lost. 

It was a stupid thing to say but Starsky was a bit lost for words.

‘You here to take my statement?’ Hutch sounded distant like kindness was a concept he’d never heard of. Why else would Starsky be there?

‘I wanted to check on you first.’ Starsky said. He did need to take the statement but that wasn’t most important to him.

‘Sorry…sorry I should be thanking you; I know you saved my life. ‘Hutch looked at him then pleading with the saddest eyes.

Starsky was caught of guard, could barely find words. ‘You don’t have to thank me. This,’ he gestured to Hutch and the hospital bed,’ is all my fault I should have detained Raymond. I should have believed you when you said you were innocent. I shouldn’t have let you get hurt again, you’ve been hurt enough….’ There he did run out of words and thought he might actually cry but instead painfully cleared his throat. A small punishment for his inadequacies.

‘You…you can’t do it all by yourself, you know. It’s too much for any man to carry alone.’

Starsky was taken aback by Hutch’s compassionate understanding. He felt he didn’t deserve it from a man he’d so badly let down. Someone so many people had let down. Many of then who carried a badge just like his. Doubting again what that small piece of metal actually stood for. 

‘You sound like my Capt’n.’

‘Must be a smart guy.’ Hutch said with the smallest smile.

‘He is and as for having someone with me, that position needs filling.’ He wiggled his eyebrows at Hutch.

‘What me, a cop?’ He full on laughed at that and then grabbed at his throat. ‘Please don’t make me laugh.’

‘I’m serious.’

‘Sure you are.’

‘I am, you care that’s most important and you have other transferable skills.’ Starsky hoped he sounded convincing because he was serious about this. 

‘Like what? You mean I know martial arts and used to box a bit. Don’t think that u’d cut it, do you?’

Starsky thought about how Hutch had told him the other night at Hutch’s place about how he’d taught the gay men and more recently some of the women he knew how to defend themselves which in a couple of cases did save lives and probably in more than Hutch knew.

‘After what you’ve done for the men and women of this community, I think you’re as good as any cop I know, maybe better.’

‘You make it sound so grand.’ Hutch went to shake his head but grimaced at his attempt. 

‘It helped people, to them it was grand and besides you’d never turn anyone away like happened to you would ya?’

‘No, but-‘

‘But nothing, sometimes you have to change things from the inside Hutch.’

‘And you seriously think they’d welcome a gay cop?’

‘Thought you were bi.’

‘Same difference to them, they won’t, and you know it.’ 

‘What I know is they’d be lucky to have you and I’d be proud to call you my partner whether you kept your private life just that or shout it from the rooftops.’ Starsky was utterly sincere he was already proud of this man. 

‘They already know about me remember I’m the ‘pretty queer boy making all the fuss,’ as one of your more charming colleges put it. Sorry, but me and coppers just don’t go.’

‘We get on alright, don’t we?’

‘You mean now you can finally admit I’m no murderer.’ Hutch sighed. 

‘I told ya, I’m sorry ‘bout that.’

‘I know but…I’m not sure I can face all the people hatin’ on me, especially if I have to try and work with them.’

‘You said I needed someone to help carry the load, well that’s what partners are for. I’d have your back Hutch. You have my word.’

‘I’d have to go to the academy, wouldn’t I? Be on me own there.’ Hutch sounded small and already a little defeated. 

‘Yes, but I’d be waiting and cheering you on.’

‘You’re serious about this aren’t you?’

‘Yep.’ Starsky smirked widely at him. 

Hutch still didn’t seem convinced.

‘At least think about it.’

Hutch nodded and then winced. 

‘So, they lettin’ you outta here or what?’

‘Um…’

‘What is it? The nurse said you were on the mend, that’s true ain’t it?’

‘Yes, but I’ll have to stay another night, something about delayed shock. Unless…’

‘Go on.’

‘Well unless someone stays with me overnight and keeps an eye on me.’ Hutch’s eyes had fluttered down to his lap unable to keep eye contact with Starsky.

‘And there’s no one who could…’ Starsky cut himself off because he thought he already knew the answer to that question. If there was someone, they’d be here by now wouldn’t they? 

‘Come home with me.’ Starsky blurted.

‘What?’ Hutch ran his fingers through his hair and looked up at Starsky through his eyelashes, seemingly confused.

‘The least I can do.’ Starsky stated as way of explanation.

Before Hutch could question the idea Starsky piped up again.

‘Listen Blondie just say yes so we can get ya outta here.’

‘Blondie huh? Does that mean I can call you curly?’

‘Call me what ever you like as long as you say yes.’

‘Alright then…curly whirly my man let’s go.’

They ended up at Starsky’s place. He wanted to reciprocate for Hutch showing him his place and with his weapons and the security he had there it felt safer. Like he could better protect him there. Hutch sat propped on a large cushion on Starsky’s sofa, while Starsky flitted about unable to stay still. Nervous energy flowed through him like he was white water rafting.

‘Get you a drink or somethin’ to eat?’

‘Got any whiskey?’

‘Not sure you should, aren’t you on drugs?’ Starsky sounded like a mother hen to his own ears then but this man was his responsibility. 

‘So many I couldn’t count them, and hardly any prescribed by a doctor.’ Hutch said wiggling his eyebrows.

‘Very funny.’

‘I do own a nightclub you know.’

‘Yeah, I noticed but I’m not buying it.’

‘Why not?’

‘I been around enough users ta know.’ Starsky gave him a hard cop stare but ruined it by grinning right after. 

‘Yeah. Once is usually enough, that or it never is.’ Hutch’s eyes went all distant but before Starsky could dig any further Hutch continued. ‘So what liquor have you got then?’

‘No hard stuff tonight but something much better.’

‘Oh yeah.’

Starsky returned from the kitchen with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate. He set one down in front of Hutch and sat beside him blowing on his own.

‘Seriously?’ Hutch said shaking his head, wincing again as he did. ‘I gotta stop doing that.’

‘Yeah it’ll hurt for a while, but it’ll heal soon enough.’

‘The voice of experience huh?’

‘Been around.’

‘Yeah.’ Hutch said drifting off into the shadows again.

Starsky was an idiot, Hutch no doubt knew all about recovery from his last brush with a killer.

‘Hey, you’ll be alright. We’re made of tough stuff you and me.’

‘Speak for yourself.’

‘You’re a brave guy Hutch I can tell. Braver than most.’

‘Wish I felt it. I should have been able to stop…’

‘Hey, don’t do that to yourself okay? The guy had a knife, hard to argue with that even a bad ass cop like me woulda struggled with that.’ 

‘Yeah right.’

‘It’s true.’

‘It…it wasn’t the first time I had to…but I fought better last time.’

‘Sure but this was different, this was someone you knew, bit different. I’m sure part of you didn’t want to believe he could hurt you…not like that anyhow.’

‘But he had…had h-hurt me before, that’s why I should’ve been ready for…’

‘Hey, please, please don’t beat yourself up, be kind…let me…’

Starsky hesitated but then rested his hand on top of Hutch’s which rested in his left leg and squeezed it briefly. Hutch smiled at him and then took a sip of the hot chocolate. Then he smiled again.

‘Not as bad as you thought, hey?’

‘No but could use a bit of Irish in it though.’

‘You and your whiskey.’ 

Hutch chuckled but then said, ‘Takes the edge off and if I ever needed that…’ Then he looked like he might cry. It was unbearable.

Starsky Chuckled then which made Hutch’s head come up a little angry.

‘What?’

‘Sorry, it’s just you’ve got a bit of a…’ He gestured at Hutch’s face. 'A chocolate moustache.’ Hutch brought his hand up to wipe his lip but Starsky got there first.

‘Here, let me.’ Starsky looked up at Hutch’s eyes as he wiped off the chocolate. Such beautiful sad eyes and lovely slightly reddened lips.   
Starsky leaned in then and kissed those lips. Sweet, sweet lips that had nothing to do with the chocolate. After a moment Starsky pulled back.

‘What was that for?’ Hutch asked.

Starsky shrugged.

‘You never kissed a guy before, did you?’

Starsky shook his head.

‘Then why?’

‘Why you?’ 

Hutch nodded this time too caught up to feel the pain that went with the gesture. 

‘I dunno Blondie, guess you just do something to me, deep inside ya know? Can’t really explain it. Don’t really wanna, just feels kinda nice.’

Hutch laughed

‘What?’

‘Well that may not be very poetic Starsky but it’s by far the sweetest thing anyone ever said to me.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah, and I think you’re right.’

‘What about?’

‘We could be good partners.’ And this time Hutch leaned in for a kiss of his own. 

‘


End file.
